要想过无罪的生活 循规蹈矩是不够的 To live a life free of sin, it is not enough to follow the rules.
那些解决生活难题的道德准则和 The moral and just answers to life's
正确答案就在你心中 difficult questions lie within you.
而你总会想方设法忽视它们 扭曲它们 And you'll find ways to ignore them, to twist them,
去满足一己私欲 to serve your selfish desires
但在内心深处 你知道什么才是正确的 but deep down you know what is correct.
雅各书第四章第十七节 人若知道行善 JAMES 4:17, "If you do not do
却不去行 这就是他的罪了 what you know is right, you have sinned."
片名：营地婚礼
加入我们的营地
你知道你的结婚场地有段历史吧 You do realize your venue has a past.
凡事都有过往 Everything has a past.
不 我说的是 历史背景 No, I mean like a past.
很少有人知道 200年前... Like little did they know, 200 years ago...
脸书 艾利克斯·格雷将状态从“单身”改为“交往中”
交往中 艾利克斯 In a relationship? Alexis?
该死 不好意思 Oh shit, sorry,
我都不知道你那儿会有通知 I didn't realize you'd get a notification.
我不是故意抢你婚礼风头的 米娅 I didn't mean to upstage your wedding, Mia.
你搞笑吗 Are you kidding?
格尔 帮姐点个赞 Gore, like that post.
对方是谁 Who's the guy?
我一定要找到他 Totally stalking him.
你好呀 丹尼·罗尔斯顿 Hello, Danny Ralston.
挺帅的嘛 Cute.
1645年 亨内克·基恩女巫在此处以火刑
戈尔：他看着像从未听过《万智牌》评论：弗林：他有双胞胎哥哥吗#帮朋友问的
你们真是太搞笑了 You guys are hilarious.
戈尔 你是不是要帮我评论句搞笑的呢 Gore, are you going to post anything funny for me?
评论：戈尔：或者0/1之类的弟弟也行#帮我自己问的
我真为你感到高兴 I'm really happy for you.
弗林：他有双胞胎哥哥吗#帮朋友问的 戈尔：或者0/1之类的弟弟也行#帮我自己问的
对不起 我听起来非常作吗 Sorry, was that super dramatic?
有时候我会忘记怎么跟真人交流 Sometimes I forget how to interact with real people.
妈妈们的问题 momproblems.
更像是 大家共有的问题 More like #everyoneproblems.
米娅：教堂选址 伴娘礼服 营地婚礼
一定要发这个 Totally posting that.
戈尔： 和真人沟通到底是#妈妈们的问题还是#大家共有的问题
博科姆图克人（印地安人）大屠杀发生地
该死 要喝西柚汁了 Oh shit, it's grapefruit time, Gore.
西柚汁 Grapefruit time?
波西米亚新娘净化计划里的 It's for the Bride Boheme Cleanse.
呃 写在男伴娘核对表里的 Mmm, it was on the man of honor checklist.
我一定是忘记看那封邮件了 I must have missed that email.
太多邮件了 There were a lot of emails.
男伴娘失职 Man of honor fail.
是往这边走吗 Was that it?
好吧 你没在导航 Okay, you're not navigating.
对不起 我刚刚在发布搞笑的评论 Sorry, I was posting a humorous comment
在艾利克斯对你的简介下面 on Alexis's profile for you.
噢 是吗 你在用OkCupid评呢 Oh, okay, right, you're using the OkCupid app to do that.
OkCupid是一家总部位于美国的国际运营在线约会，友谊和社交网站
-好吧 对不起 我昨天去了四场约会 -四场 - Okay sorry, I went on like four dates yesterday and... - Four?
是啊 就像投简历一样把你的信息放上去 Yeah, it's like sending out resumes.
竟然没人私信我 And no one's gotten back to me.
真是难以置信 It's just very surprising.
博科姆图克营地 Camp Pocumtuck.
爱彼迎上淘到的 我们是他们这儿承办的第一场婚礼 It was a steal on Airbnb and we're their first wedding.
你在爱彼迎上定了一个夏令营 You booked a summer camp on Airbnb?
你还真是什么都能站在爱彼迎上定啊 You can book anything on Airbnb.
“电子设备禁止入内” "Electronic devices will not be tolerated."
这是阿米什人的地盘吗 Is this place Amish?
阿米什人是基督新教重洗派门诺会中的一个信徒分支 以拒绝汽车及电力等现代设施 过着简朴的生活而闻名
我觉得是因为这样孩子们就能体验大自然吧 I think it's so the kids can experience nature.
“露营者之间禁止发生性爱” "Inter-camper liaisons will not be tolerated."
真蠢 Stupid.
“嚼口香糖 赌博 公众场合裸露” "Gum chewing, gambling, and public nudity
“明令禁止” will not be tolerated."
这分类真有趣 Interesting assortment.
“毒品和酒精谢绝入内” "Drugs and alcohol will not be tolerated."
不好意思 博图克营地 我抽了三天母乳 Sorry, Camp Putuck, I didn't pump three-days'
可不是来这儿保持清醒的 worth of breast milk to stay sober.
第一点 我绝对要来场露营者之间的性爱 Well, I for one am gonna have a serious inter-camper liaison.
-是吗 -和达尔瓦罗一起 - Oh yeah. - With Dalvaro.
第二 我希望你们用所有的电子设备 And I expect all of your electronic devices
在网上掀起一股“米娅营地婚礼”风潮 to be posting up a storm to #MiaCampWedding.
我要加上“歌剧首席女主是怎么做的”话题吗 Should I add #whatadivadoes?
不用 这是我私人话题 那是给我歌剧弄的 Oh no, that's just my personal one. It's for my opera posts.
我们真的会在才艺秀上听到你唱歌吗 Are we finally going to get to hear you sing at the talent show?
额 我已经有段时间没和我声乐老师一起训练了 Uhm, I haven't worked with my voice teacher for a while.
噢 我忘了说了 那地方的网 Oh, I forgot to mention that the service
有点古怪 可以发信息刷脸书 is really kind of sketchy so posts and texts will work
但不能打电话 but phone calls really won't work.
给斯科特发消息 Text Scott.
不能给杰弗逊讲睡前故事了 Can't do Jefferson bedtime story.
事前不知道那地方没网... Wasn't informed there was no service, ellipses.
我都在邮件里写了的 It was in the bridal party email.
噢 Oh.
麻烦删了 Please delete that.
不能删啊 这是拍立得 I can't. It's a Polaroid.
那就烧了 不然你欠我一辆车 Then just burn it and you won't owe me for the cab.
天 Oh man.
米娅在Kickstarter上的视频非常惊艳 但现场更棒 Mia's Kickstarter video was badass but it's better IRL.
Kickstarter是美国众筹平台
人们应该自己出钱筹办婚礼 You should pay for your wedding yourself.
但是是众筹平台把它变成了 But it's the crowdfunding that made it
一期波西米亚新娘特别策划 a Bride Boheme Special Feature.
米娅真的很擅长交叉推广 Mia really nailed the cross-promotion.
哇哦 这个米娅听上去真不错呢 Wow, this Mia sounds pretty amazing.
-怎么 你还没见过米娅吗 -没 - Whoa, you haven't met Mia? - Nope.
我还以为你是她最好朋友之一呢 But I thought you were the groom's best friend.
嗯哼 Mmm hmm.
该死 他们来了 我得藏起来了 Oh shit they're coming! I got to hide.
-给 拿着我的口香糖 -哦 - Here first hold my gum. - Oh.
好吧 Okay.
我的天 Oh, oh my gosh.
颓废风格的 我喜欢 It's so dilapidated. I love it.
等我们准备好几件事情 Okay, so we have a few wedding prep things
就可以好好享受有趣的单身派对 and then we can enjoy the outdoorsy bachelorette fun.
很抱歉我们不能在城里过姐妹之夜 亲爱的 Oh sorry we couldn't do a girls' night in the city,just...
我们的行程实在是... honey. Our schedules
没事 这会更棒的 姐妹的 It's okay. This is going to be way better, you guys.
我可不想过那些可恶的单身派对 I didn't want one of those obnoxious bachelorette parties.
让我们开始婚前单身冒险大派对吧 Oh let the bachelorette-palooza begin.
嗨 And hi!
艾琳 我的朋友 来自... Oh, Eileen, my friend from...
-社区剧院 -社区剧院 - Community Theater, yeah. - Community Theater.
-等了好久啊 -噢 - You took forever. - Oh.
-噢 -真是谢谢你邀请我 - Oh! - Oh, thank you so much for including me.
噢 谢谢你远道而来 Oh, thank you for coming all this way.
嗨 Hi.
波莱特 很高兴见到你 Paulette, it's really nice to meet you.
男伴娘 Man of honor.
噢 你认识我 Oh, you know who I am.
-嗯 -我 好吧 - Yeah. - I, okay.
这是给你的 And this one's for you.
谢谢 Thank you.
这个最大最亮的是给你的 And the biggest and the brightest.
开始狂欢吧 Let's get this party started.
我带了你最爱的 血腥8啤酒 I've got your favorite, Bloody Eight fixings.
-还有鸡鸡吸管 -天呢 听起来真不错 - And penis straws. - Oh my gosh, that sounds really great.
我刚在想我们等会儿吃点午餐 I was just thinking that we were gonna get some lunch.
然后开个简短的预备会议 And then we have a brief production meeting
大约20分钟 in, you know, 20 minutes.
所以 额...等会再嗨吧 So, um maybe later.
宝贝 你的... 行吧 Babe, your... I bet.
来吧 大家笑一个 All right, smile, you guys.
米娅营地婚礼第一张照片 It's my first #MiaCampWedding.
-很好 -这是一些信息 这是你的 - Okay, so good. All right. - Some info, this is yours.
给你 Here you are.
你的 Here you go.
拿着 戈尔 Take this one, Gore.
好啦 我看 Alrighty, so I think
大家差不多都吃完午饭了 everybody's almost done lunch.
不好意思 我知道你说过 Well, I'm sorry, I know you said everything
所有食物都会是无麸质的 但因为你没有 would be gluten free, but since you don't have
无麸质厨房 所以我还是谨慎为好 a gluten-free kitchen, I didn't want to take any chances.
这些都要今天做完吗 All this is supposed to be accomplished today?
不是 只要完成周五那部分就可以了 No, no, just the Friday to do.
-是啊 我指的就是周五的 -其实真的没有很多 -Yeah, I'm referring to the Friday to do. -It's really not that much.
我们只要把才艺表演 I mean, we just have to get the
要用的戏剧屋布置好 playhouse ready for the talent show.
然后把给客人睡的小屋收拾出来 And then we need to get the cabins done for the guests.
不会花很长时间的 然后我们在回到这里 Not going to take that long. And then we're gonna come back here,
布置些桌子 装些灯 we're gonna arrange some tables, throw up some lights,
我们一定会玩得很开心的 and we're going to have so much fun.
噢 我差点忘了 我还带了捕蝶网 Oh, I almost forgot, we have butterfly nets
要是你们在布置的时候发现了蝴蝶可以用到 so like if you happen to be prepping and you find a butterfly,
因为我想安排一个放蝴蝶的节目 'cause we're going to have a butterfly release.
我的天 Oh my God.
-走起 -我知道了 - Let's do this! - I get it.
这是场殖民婚礼 It's a plantation wedding really.
伙计们 婚礼就是这样子啊 Guys, this is how weddings work.
我们不一定非得喷她一身水 I mean, we didn't have to throw her
或者弄场婚前单身派对 a shower or a bachelorette party.
而且她还让我们随便选伴娘礼服 And she let us pick out whatever dress we wanted.
呵 只要是粉色都行 Hmm, as long as it was pink.
嘿 要是她帮我们办婚礼 Hey, you know she would be just as ridiculous
-也会同样这么在意的 -我们私奔了 - about helping us with our weddings. - We eloped.
我的意思是 咱们就别发牢骚了 I mean, let's just suck it up
帮她实现梦想吧 and help make her dream come true.
脸书 有人发布了照片并提到了你
脸书上的照片不错 Nice pic on Facebook.
女老板：脸书上的照片不错 不过我可没批准这次假期
不过我可没批准这次假期 I did not approve this vacation.
-嘿 怎么样了 -嘿 - Hey, how's it coming? - Hey.
很好 Great.
好的 其它小屋都布置好了吗 Okay, so are all the other cabins done?
你是和波莱特分工负责的吗 Did you split them up with Paulette?
没 我把这个弄完了 No. I was just getting this one wrapped up
就去弄下一个 and then I was going to go over to the next one and get going.
-所以 还一个小屋都没弄完 -没有 - So, none of the other cabins are done. - No.
好吧 那波莱特呢 Okay, where is Paulette?
我不知道 I don't know.
“今晚与我在湖对面空地见面” "Meet me tonight in the clearing across the lake."
“我想让你成为我的初吻” I want you to be my first kiss.
“查克” "Chuck."
我们得谈谈 大家都睡了之后来营地入口找我 We need to talk. Meet by the camp entrance tonight after bedtime.
达尔瓦罗： 我们得谈谈 今晚大家入睡之后来营地入口见我
我的天 Oh my God!
你必须看看这个 You have to see this.
这些椅子是怎么了 Yeah, what happened to the chair rental?
这个营地太诡异了 This camp was intense.
罪人公告板
是啊 是挺疯狂的 Yeah, that's crazy.
你能把台子清出来 把这玩意儿盖起来吗 Can you clear the stage and cover whatever that is?
你也可以搞定灯光音响啥的 对吧 And you can figure out the whole lighting, sound situation, right?
当然 Sure.
那行 好的 All right, okay.
噢 要去划独木舟了吗 Oh, so it's time for canoeing?
嗯 你搞完了下来吧 Yeah, just come whenever you're done.
丹尼：我太想要你了
我太想你了 I'm so hungry for you.
斯科特：杰弗逊只对榛果过敏对吧
杰弗逊只对榛果过敏对吧 Jefferson's only allergic to hazelnuts, right?
该死 不好意思 Fuck, sorry.
-不 是我的错 没摔破吧 -没有 还好 - No, my fault. Nothing broke? - No, we're good.
来我这儿 Get over here.
丹尼：来我这儿 我女朋友这周末参加完那场婚礼 就要回来了
我女朋友这周末参加完那场婚礼 We only have the weekend before my girlfriend
就要回来了 gets back from that wedding.
操 Fuck!
-对不起 我收到了一条奇怪的骚扰短信 -我得去找信号了 Sorry, just got a weird text message. I'm just gonna have to find service.
好吧 要是你看到了什么好看的野花 Okay, but if you see any pretty wildflowers,
你可以把它摘回来然后... can you bring them and then you...
呼 Dom.
13 13.
噢 嘿 14了 Oh hey, oh it was 14.
小屋装的怎么样了 How are the cabins going?
其实我已经全部弄完了 我们要去划船了吗 Yeah, actually I'm all done. We going to canoe?
是的 也许你可以去帮艾琳弄她的那部分 Yeah. So maybe you could help Eileen with her cabin
因为她搞得比较慢 'cause she's falling behind.
好吧 那你呢 Okay, and you're going to...
我得做完这组高强度间歇训练 I got to do high intensity interval training
每3个小时一次 减少身体里的水分 every three hours to reduce water weight
焕活皮肤 and flush my skin.
波莱特 Paulette?
发短信给斯科特 Text Scott.
核桃 Walnuts, exclamation point.
杰弗逊还好吗 Is Jefferson all right, question mark.
快他妈回消息 Fucking text me back, period.
打给斯科特 Call Scott.
咱们明天一定跟上安排 We'll catch up tomorrow.
-你确定信息发过去了吗 -嗯 我确定 - Are you sure your text went through? - Yeah, I am.
确定晚餐之后就没人见过弗林了吗 Are you sure nobody's seen Flynn since before dinner?
也许她是去找无麸质厨房了 Maybe she's looking for a gluten-free kitchen.
大家 她真的病的很厉害 You guys, she gets really sick.
所以我才要求所有东西都是无麸质的 That's why I got gluten-free everything.
等等 这是无麸质果塔饼干吗 Wait, these are gluten-free s'mores?
天 Oh, Jesus!
谢天谢地 Oh thank God.
我得开车去找信号 可以吗 I need to use the van to get somewhere with service, okay?
斯科特把杰弗逊过敏的坚果种类弄错了 Scott has Jefferson's nut allergies confused.
他还好吗 Is he okay?
斯科特没回我 Scott's not getting back to me
我本来是要在他睡前给他打电话的 and I'm supposed to call him at bedtime
我从没离开过他 and I've never been away from him.
我是唯一指定的司机 I'm just the only designated driver
但我刚做了镭射视力矫正手术 大约一个月 and I just got Lasik so I'm not allowed to drive at night
不能在晚上开车 但如果你真的得打电话... for like a month and, but if you need to make a call...
你做了镭射视力矫正手术 You got Lasik?
嗯 达尔瓦罗为我准备的秘密礼物 Yeah. Dalvero got it for me as a surprise
这样我就能去坎昆潜水了 so I can go water skiing in Cancun.
噢 Oh.
你可以不行去水牛角镇 You could walk to Bufflehorn.
就7.8英里远 It's just 7.8 miles.
算了 Fuck it.
这是你的周末 It's your weekend.
他会没事的 我只要相信他 He'll be fine. I just need to trust.
你会没事吗 你吃晚饭了吗 Are you going to be okay? Did you get dinner?
我吃了些亚麻薯片 I had some flax chips.
天 那你一定饿坏了吧 Oh my God, you must be starving.
这些果塔饼干是无麸质的 The s'mores are gluten-free.
嗯 他们是从那个包裹里拿出来的 Yeah, they're right out of the package.
不是从厨房里拿的 They weren't in my kitchen, just here.
吃我的吧 这不是波西米亚新娘净化计划里的 Take mine. It's not part of the Bride Boheme Cleanse.
既然我们都在这里 Now that we're all here,
不如我们先来预演一下才艺秀 maybe a little sneak peak into the talent show?
1985年夏天 博科姆图克营地 Summer 1985, Camp Pocumtuck.
一幅年少无邪的画面 A picture of youthful innocence
直到被死亡吞噬 until it is deflowered by death!
等等 才艺表演有你吗 Wait, are you part of the talent show?
有啊 Yeah.
鬼故事 夏令营 Ghost story, summer camp.
-太文绉绉了吗 -嗯 - Too tropey? - Yeah.
但这是真的 我查过的 But it's true. I did the research.
我也查过 那是场失败的社会实验 As did I. It was a social experiment gone awry.
还用你说 That's pretty obvious.
但你知道那个淹死的女孩 But did you know that the girl drowned
其实是因为她被闪电击中了吗 because she was struck by lightning?
奇怪 Odd.
等下 你们在说什么 Wait, what are they talking about?
1980年代也不太太平 There was just some unrest in the '80s.
一个露营者被淹死了 一次意外 A camper drowned, it was an accident.
说实话 在某个营地 And honestly, in the history of a camp,
发生一起死亡 还挺酷的 one death, it's kind of amazing.
这也是印第安人大屠杀的发生地 This is also the location of an Indian massacre.
沿路还有女巫处刑的地方 And there were some witch trials up the road.
虽然没达到塞勒姆女巫的水平 但也有些女巫牺牲了 Nothing Salem level but some girls got immolated.
等等 还有其他人在说恐怖故事吗 Wait, is someone else doing horror spoken word?
没有 但我觉得 No, they're not but I think maybe
你应该换点不那么伤感的话题 you should try something else a little less maudlin.
比如 你准备唱什么 Like what did you decide to sing?
《共和国战歌》 "Battle Hymn of the Republic."
怎么了 你不是说必须是免费的吗 What, you said it had to be rights free
因为波西米亚新娘公司要拍视频 because of Bride Boheme taking video
但对于一个要带孩子的妈妈来说 but it's difficult to find public domain songs
找到一首免费歌曲并且排练好它是很难的 好吗 and have time to rehearse when you're a mom, okay?
而且我在杰弗逊1776年的派对上唱过 And I just sang it for Jefferson's 1776 party.
为什么你们不一起合唱 Why don't you guys sing that together?
这些是手工制作的棉花糖吗 Are these handmade marshmallows?
是啊 我从我街区的一个小地方带过来的 Yeah, they're from that great little place in my hood.
所有棉花糖都是无麸质的 All marshmallows are gluten-free.
-我检查过的 -不 - I checked. - No!
所有批量生产的棉花糖都是无麸质的 除了那些手工制作的 All mass-produced ones are but some of the handmade ones
它们会添加面粉 use flour in the process.
我的天 Oh my God!
-天 -这是什么东西 - Oh my God! - What the fuck is that?
伏特加 Vodka.
小麦伏特加还是土豆伏特加 Wheat or potato-based?
便宜的 Cheap.
没事 It's okay.
我过一两个小时就知道了 I'll know in a couple of hours.
-再来一张 -操 操 操 操 - Another one. - Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
还是没有绿色的牌吗 No green piles still?
-弗林 -该死 我忍不下去了 - Flynn! - Oh shit, my tolerance is gone.
伙计们 帮我把这些无麸质的啤酒喝了 这样就是平局了 Guys, help me drink all this gluten-free beer so it's a fair fight.
我已经喝够了 Oh, got enough of this.
波西米亚新娘净化计划进行中 Bride Boheme Cleanse.
我算了 I'm okay.
你在拒绝喝酒吗 You're refusing alcohol?
你怀孕了吗 Are you pregnant?
-闪卡 -操 - Flick fly. - Oh, fuck!
哈哈哈哈 Ah ha ha ha ha.
我们是不是要去问问艾琳和波莱特想不想玩 Should we see if Eileen and Paulette want to play?
我们能不能讨论下艾琳和波莱特 Can we discuss Eileen and Paulette?
我知道波莱特 Yeah. I know Paulette's.
是达尔瓦罗奇葩的大学朋友 但是艾琳 Dalvero's weird college friend but Eileen.
我是不小心邀请的艾琳 I accidentally invited Eileen.
女老板：不想委婉兜圈子 你被炒了
不想委婉兜圈子 Not going to sugarcoat this.
你被炒了 You're fired.
-她的邮箱地址是flygirl77@... -Hotmail.com Her email address is flygirl77@... -Hotmail.com
我自动以为我输入的是弗林的名字 so autocorrect thinking I typed in Flynn's name
搞得她现在以为自己的伴娘 所以 and now she thinks she's a bridesmaid so, yeah.
你能说得更具体些吗 Can you be more specific
具体时间地点 than camp entrance and after bedtime?
达尔瓦罗：我们得谈谈 今晚大家入睡之后来营地入口见我
该死 操你妈 婊子 Shit, fuck, whore.
我真他妈想念口无遮拦骂脏话的日子 Oh, fuck I miss swearing.
你们现在感受到来自孩子的压力了吗 Are you guys getting baby pressure yet?
有 自从我们宣布婚礼日期之后 Yeah, ever since we announced the date.
操 操 操 Fuckety fuck fuck!
但是你懂得 换句话说 婚姻只是为了税收 But, you know, it's just for the taxes in other words.
什么都会变 Everything changes.
妹的 Shit!
就像是抵押 It's like a mortgage.
那你确定他是安全投资吗 You sure he's a safe investment?
是啊 那是什么意思 艾利克斯 Yeah, what does that mean, Alexis?
-突击 -我滴亲娘 该死 婊子 - Blitz. - Mother of God, shit, whore!
去你丫的 Fuck you.
我... I...
我的去上大号了 I got to take five.
哇哦 你就让她那样蒙在鼓里做梦吗 Wow, you just let her have that fantasy?
她还以为你们之间姐妹情深呢 She thought you two were having a fren-a-ssance.
应该早点让那可怜的妹子脱身的 Should have let the poor girl off the hook.
什么 这是说来话长好吧 What, it's a long story. I mean,
要是有人该道歉 是她好吧 if anybody was supposed to apologize, it's her.
大伙儿 闪电堆叠 You guys, blitz pile.
外面有几个人 戴着吓死人的面具 There are these guys with these scary fucking masks
在树林里 out in the woods!
会不会是有其他的租客 Couldn't they just be other Airbnb renters?
不可能 我把整个营地都定下来了 No, I booked the whole camp.
我猜这些越狱的罪犯一定会把我们先奸后杀 I guess the escaped convicts that are going to rape
你可没在这里预定犯罪现场啊 and murder us didn't book their crime scene on Airbnb.
你说的脱衣舞者不是开玩笑的吗 Were the strippers not a joke?
你会杀了我的好吧 Oh, you would've killed me.
我厌恶各种形式暴露行为 You hate all flavors of exploitation.
无麸质刀 以防万一 Gluten-free knife, just in case.
真是狗血 Fuck this!
-什么鬼-对不起 宝宝 - What the fuck? - Yeah, I'm sorry, boo.
你不是应该明天来吗 You were supposed to come tomorrow.
我的错 我让杰克载我们来了 My fault, I had Jack drive us up.
达尔瓦罗都不知情 Dalvero didn't even know.
是吗 但他却知道他戴个面具 Yeah, well he knew he was wearing a mask
把我们吓个半死 to scare the shit out of us.
你的主意真烂 It was really poor judgment on our part.
但这样的话我们可以明天一早帮你做事 But this way we can help you first thing tomorrow.
嘿 Hey.
噢 你来了 Oh, hey, you made it.
震惊吗 Shocked?
我是特拉斯克 伴郎 I'm Trask, groomsman.
抱歉让你们觉得我是个杀手了 Sorry if you all thought I was a murderer.
这位是杰克 首席伴郎 指定司机 This is Jack, best man, designated driver.
达尔瓦罗就不用我介绍了 And you all know Dalvero.
额 抱歉让大家虚惊一场 Uh, sorry to psychologically molest you all.
嗨 我是艾琳 Hi, I'm Eileen.
我不该出现在这里的 I'm not supposed to be here
但我决定就待在这里 but I'm just going with it.
好了 我觉得我们都要上床睡觉了 Okay, I think we should all just go to bed
明天是重大的一天 because we have a very big day tomorrow.
重要的日子 宝宝 The big day, boo.
好梦 Sweet dreams.
走吧 杰克 Come on, Jack.
-噢 我滴亲娘啊 -这位特拉斯克是谁 - Oh, mother of God. - Who is Trask?
他是达尔瓦罗的傻缺同事 He's one of Dalvero's douchey work friends.
也没那么性感吧 He's really not that sexy.
新娘眼里出西施 他简直完美 Bride blindness, he's everything.
好了 熄灯吧 好吗 Okay, lights out, all right?
明天还有好多事要做 We kind of got a lot to do tomorrow.
-他有点太过了 -不存在的 - He's kind of too much. - No such thing.
米娅 你觉得呢 Mia, what team?
直男可不是那样子的 Straight guys don't look like that.
弗林 欢迎来到混合健身时代 Oh, Flynn, welcome to the decade of CrossFit.
我会为咱的小队赢一份 I'll take one for the team
来点露营者之间的交合 and propose some inter-camper liaisons.
达尔瓦罗说过 他有老婆了 Dalvero mentioned he had a wife.
他有可能是双性恋 He could be bi.
-也可能是多边恋 -那杰克呢 - And polyamorous. - Well, what about Jack? You guys seemed to have
你们好像在我的订婚派对上挺来电的 a little moment there and you bonded over
都不喜欢汤姆·汉克斯 hating Tom Hanks at my engagement party.
我们亲热了 然后他就再也没 And we made out and he never responded
回我的后续消息 to my follow-up text.
新娘失败 Bridal Yenta fail.
不管怎样 我都要翻篇了 去找特拉斯克 Anyway I've moved on to Traskier things.
谁不喜欢汤姆·汉克斯 Who doesn't love Tom Hanks?
晚安 Good night.
好吧 他说他会给我发消息的 但是... Well, he said he'd text me but...
拿出点勇气来行不行 Oh, pull the fucking reigns on that.
喜欢他 就给他发消息 If you like him, text him.
-很晚了 -管它晚不晚 - It's late. - Fuck late.
晚代表性感 Late's hot.
晚代表渴望 Late's desperate.
不要听这个自从高中就没有约过会的男人的话 Ignore the man who hasn't dated since high school.
我是个快乐的已婚人士 I am very happily married.
那是社交软件和信息出现之前把 That was before apps and texting.
约会现在就像做间谍 Dating is like espionage now.
我会帮你从米娅那儿打探消息的 I'll get intelligence from Mia.
操 我不玩了 Fuck, I'm out.
晚安 Good night.
来嘛 再玩一轮 Come on, one more round.
我堵上价值55美元的专业大腿舞 I can bet a professional lap dance worth $55.
-我就是这么赚读MBA的钱的 -下去 - It's how I paid for my MBA. - Off!
这是你最后的自由之夜 尝尝魔法的味道 It's your last night of freedom. Taste the magic.
-赶紧他妈去睡觉 -那我请你咯 - Go the fuck to sleep. - On the house then.
向他们展示我对你的忠诚 服务不设限 Show them my loyalty to you and the bank knows no bounds.
别拍马屁了 你会得疱疹的 Stop kissing ass. You'll get VP.
你对这家伙还真是拘谨呢 You're really stiff for this guy.
该死 Ah shit.
首席伴郎演讲词 Best man speech.
跟我走 我有好东西给你 Come with me. I got just the thing.
爽翻的户外活动 The fucking outdoors!
后劲很足 尝尝然后再来背你的演讲稿 Re-trip, then you do your speech.
明天就会小菜一碟了 Tomorow'll be easy.
天才吧 Genius, right?
我从没 额... 噢 I've never actually uh... Oh.
新手啊 Virgin territory.
好了 电子设备警告 Okay, electronic devices will not be tolerated.
求你们了 Please.
明天还有好多事 There's so much to do.
你在脸书上和特拉斯克是好友吗 You friends with Trask on Facebook?
关了关了 Powering down.
达尔瓦罗滥用药物的问题 Dalvero's substance abuse issues
朋友们都众所周知 are well known to his friends.
他真的非常迷恋药物 He is literally addicted to substance.
他沉迷于播客无法自拔 He binges podcasts.
喜欢的明星是泰瑞·格罗斯 Terry Gross is his celeb crush.
他会捐一个肾给诺姆·乔姆斯基 And he'd donate a kidney to Noam Chomsky.
我都要笑尿了 I'm going to pee in my pants.
等我回来 你一定要把这段性感讲稿发给戈尔 When I get back you're totally going to sext that Gore dude.
嘿 我是特拉斯克 Hey, it's Trask.
想要在戏剧屋见面吗 Want to meet at the playhouse?
你不是特拉斯克 You are not Trask.
你是谁 Who are you?
特拉斯克啊 搞什么 Trask. What the fuck?
我从米娅的联系人名单里找到了你的号码 Got your number off Mia's contact sheet.
你太对我的胃口了 You are so my thing.
我等你 I'm waiting.
特拉斯克 Trask?
我在干嘛 What am I doing?
接的漂亮 带着我的面罩和几根尼龙扣条 Nice catch, sir. Bring my mask and a couple of zip ties
来湖对岸见我 and meet me on the other side of the lake.
特拉斯克 Trask?
嗯 Duh.
你怎么有我号码的 How did you get my number?
联系人名单 Contact sheet.
看着挺帅 不咋聪明啊 Not as bright as you are handsome.
那个要求挺诡异的 That's a mildly creepy request.
诡异等同性感 Creepy equals sexy.
抓紧时间了啊 Keep on the DL, duh.
赶紧 Hurry.
你在吃药 对吧 You're on the pill, right?
没有 但这不是问题 No, but it's not an issue.
是的 Yep.
宝宝 你能不能 Boo, can you pick me up
帮我去尽快拿点西柚过来 some grapefruits ASAP?
戈尔没拿 Gore failed.
艾利克斯G77 发文至 #米娅营地婚礼 AlexisG77 posted to #MiaCampWedding.
嘿 这吓死人的自拍是怎么回事 Hey, what's with the scary selfie
你在哪儿 and where are you?
戈尔 戈... Gore, Go...
什么情况 What the fuck?
-见鬼 -怎么了 - Shit. - What's wrong?
那个酗酒的女的呢 Where's alcoholic girl?
弗林 Flynn?
啊 Ah.
嘿 Hey.
那绝对是小麦伏特加 不好意思 Definitely wheat-based vodka, sorry.
真是要了老命 我吵醒你们了吗 It's quite the shit show. Did I wake you guys?
小屋里面只有我俩 We're the only ones left in the cabin.
为什么她要往你的话题里发这个 Why would she sully up my feed with this?
对啊 Aye.
我就有话直说了 I'm just going to say what we're all thinking.
这并不是自拍 This is not a selfie.
这是某个人拍的 Someone else took this pic.
一个变态 Someone psychopathic.
我们都是这么觉得的啊 That's what we're all thinking?
艾利克斯之前很哥特 对吧 Alexis used to be goth, okay?
她可能是在玩单身夜 She's probably just doing some like bachelorette
-鬼屋游戏 -这是她的东西吗 - haunted house thing. - Is this her stuff?
嘿 那是她的东西 喂 Hey, that is her stuff. Come on.
我在找线索 I'm looking for a clue.
-中头奖了 -等等 不是吧 - Jackpot. - Wait, no.
这是产前维生素 These are prenatal vitamins.
你觉得她怀孕了吗 Do you think she's pregnant?
额 她拒绝喝那瓶酒 那是第一个可疑的点 Uh, she refused that beer. That's a first.
或者说她想要怀孕 Or she's trying to get pregnant.
或许她出轨了那个变态 Maybe she was cheating with the psychopath
她以为他是一个全业务捐精者 直到... and she thought he was a full- service sperm donor until...
我的天 好吧 Oh my God. Okay.
我们去看看男生那屋 Let me just go check the boys' cabin
看看他们在不在睡觉 in case they're not sleeping.
你在哪儿 Where are you?
开始没有感觉了哦 Starting to not feel this.
宝宝 Boo?
他们在哪儿 Where are they?
-噢 我让他去拿东西了 -现在 - Oh, I asked him to run an errand. - -Now?
噢 他拿来了我单身派对后要穿的礼服 Oh, he picked up my dress after the bachelor party.
我马上回来 I'll be right back.
米娅：你们都在商店吗艾利克斯发了张这个 找不到她 特拉斯克和你在一起吗
你们都在商店吗 You guys at the store?
艾利克斯发了张这个 Alexis posted this.
找不到她 Can't find her.
特拉斯克和你在一起吗 Is Trask with you?
杰克 你在哪儿 Jack, where are you?
米娅：你们都在商店吗艾利克斯发了张这个 找不到她 特拉斯克和你在一起吗
你们在商店吗 You guys at the store?
艾利克斯发了张这个 Alexis posted this.
找不到她 Can't find her.
特拉斯克和你在一起吗 Is Trask with you?
发至：达尔瓦罗 你去了吗
你去了吗 Is this happening?
嘿 Hey.
天 Jesus!
嗯 宝宝 马上回来 Yeah, boo, be back in a jiff.
发至：米娅 嗯 宝宝 马上回来 我让他去找艾利克斯 戈尔是不喜欢杰克吗
我让他去找艾利克斯 I'll text him to look for Alexis.
戈尔是不喜欢杰克吗 And is Gore not into Jack or what?
走到林子更深处 带上面具 Come deeper into the woods, put on the mask,
将自己绑在一棵树上 and zip tie yourself to a tree.
特拉斯克：走到林子更深处 带上面具 将自己绑在一棵树上 我来找你
我来找你 I'll find you.
米娅：男伴娘 急需你 你在哪儿
男伴娘 急需你 Man of honor, need you.
米娅： 男伴娘 急需你 你在哪儿
你在哪儿 Where are you?
艾利克斯的手机一定是关机了 Alexis's phone must've just died.
你的男闺蜜呢 And your best gay?
那个刻薄的醉妞儿呢 Caustic drunk girl.
怎么 手机大屠杀吗 What was it, a phone massacre?
戈尔&摩尔发文至#米娅营地婚礼 Gore&More posted to #MiaCampWedding.
特拉斯克在炫耀他的胜利 Trask is flaunting his conquests.
特拉斯克 Trask?
那个戈尔视为一切的人 Who was everything to Gore.
是啊 想想如果你想要一个孩子 你会想要什么基因组成 And whose genetic makeup would you want for a child?
他就是一个慕男狂变态 坐拥无限优势 He's some nympho psycho, so bathed in unexamined privilege.
这对他来说就是场游戏 This is just sport to him.
哇哦 还真是一套无懈可击的猜想呢 Well, that's an airtight theory.
不过戈尔的表现太过猴急 Gore was acting pretty desperate though.
那孕前维生素呢 And prenatals?
她太想要一个孩子了 She wanted a baby bad.
他们可能都还活着 在外面某处 They could both be out there still alive
流着血 just bleeding out somewhere.
你怎么有信号的 How are you even getting service?
我一整晚都在试图联系斯科特 I've been trying to text Scott all night.
我们得报警 We need to call the police.
男伴娘失败是内部笑话 Man of honor fail is an inside joke
戈尔很可能是被整了 and Gore was probably in on the prank.
我们就等着他们来吓我吧 We'll just wait for them to scare me
到时候我宰了他们 and then I will kill them.
-你应该不跟我们一起来吧 -不了 - You're not looking to come with us, are you? - No.
我就在这儿和我这位新朋友在一起 I should stay with my friend here.
你会照顾好自己吗 Are you going to be okay?
没事的 I'll be fine.
艾利克斯 戈尔 Alexis! Gore!
嘘 把闪光灯关了 Shh, turn that thing off.
我们得悄无声息 We need to be stealth.
好吧 我看不见了 Okay, I can't see.
你的眼睛会适应的 Your eyes will adjust.
安全 Coast is clear.
既然我们来都来了 那我们就做完... While we're here, we could just finish the...
悄咪咪的 Stealth.
人们明天就来了 People are coming tomorrow.
来浴血吗 To a blood bath.
要想从一场误食麸质的意外恢复过来 喝水是关键 Recovering from an accidental glutening. Hydration is key.
多喝富含电解质的饮料 Reach for electrolyte-rich beverages
比如椰子水 such as coconut water.
斯科特：他没挺过来 对不起
他没挺过来 He didn't make it.
对不起 So sorry.
562-555-1937：你是下一个
你是下一个 You're next.
米娅 米娅 Mia! Mia!
米娅 Mia!
发至：达尔瓦罗 要是你不敢谈这场婚礼 那显然是个错误
要是你不敢谈这场婚礼 If you're afraid to talk about this wedding,
那显然是个错误 it's obviously a mistake.
天 Jesus!
嘿 Oh, hey.
你没事吧 Are you okay?
好极了 Amazing.
你在外头干嘛 What are you doing out here?
呼吸新鲜空气 I needed some fresh air.
你呢 You?
给了那个首席伴郎一些迷幻蘑菇帮他冷静 I, uh, gave the best man shrooms to calm his nerves,
但他吓坏了 我还没找到他 but it freaked him out and now I can't find him.
你给他迷幻蘑菇来帮他冷静 You gave him shrooms to calm his nerves?
为了明天嘛 不是现在 For tomorrow not like right now.
你就那么有把握吗 You don't have any pot?
我觉得那个在他演讲前对他更有帮助 I thought that would have been better right before his speech.
所以你很有把握 So you do have pot.
也许我们可以用这个捂死特拉斯克 Oh, maybe we could smother Trask with one of these.
噢 你打哈欠是这个样子的吗 Oh, is that how you yawn?
你现在就是个大名鼎鼎的歌剧演唱家 对吧 You're like a big opera singer now, right?
-我很喜欢看#歌剧首席女主角的日常 -谢谢 - I love that #whatadivadoes. - Thanks.
我会时不时看看你的主页 I just looked at your profile every once in a while
看看你在干嘛 to see what you're up to.
抱歉到现在都没接受你的好友请求 Yeah, sorry about not accepting your friend request yet.
我真的忙着筹备婚礼 I just got really busy with the wedding,
所以还没... 我的天 so, you know, haven't had... Oh my gosh.
这营地也太讨人喜欢 太不政治正确了吧 This camp is so adorbs and so un-PC.
“反应迟钝” "Retarded"?
这些小孩子什么年代的啊 What decade did these kids come from?
我不知道 我觉得应该很长时间没人来这儿了 I don't know. I think they haven't had campers for a while.
我在你小屋里 At your cabin.
你在哪儿 Where you at?
我的天 Oh my gosh.
这也许是个陷阱 This could be a trap.
我们应该拿上弗林的刀 We should get Flynn's knife
和一个床垫 and take one of these mattresses.
波莱特：要是你不敢谈这场婚礼 那显然是个错误
要是你害怕谈论这场婚礼 If you're afraid to talk about this wedding,
那就明显错了 it's obviously a mistake.
米娅：艾琳疯了 她会毁了这场婚礼的 你能解决掉她吗
艾琳疯了 她会毁了这场婚礼的 Eileen's cray. She is going to ruin the wedding.
你能解决掉她吗 Can you take care of her?
你是说对她非常好 You mean like be really nice to her
那她就不会这么疯狂了 so she's not so cray?
达尔瓦罗：你是说对她非常好 那她就不会这么疯狂了
不 不是示好 No, not nice.
那 吓跑她 Like, scare her away?
米娅：行
行吧 行 Fine. Fine.
随你 Fine.
你看着办 Fine!
不确定我同不同意这个计划 Not sure I'm down with this plan.
达尔瓦罗：不确定我同不同意这个计划
我会吓跑她的 好吗 So I'll scare her, okay?
感谢致电 Thank you for contacting.
如何成为最佳首席女主角 How to Be Your Best Diva.
邮件是联系我的最好方式 Email's really the best way to reach me.
#歌剧首席... #whata...
-达尔瓦罗真是爱上了那个女孩 -嗯嗯 - Dalvero's totally sprung for that girl. - -Mm-m.
他都不会靠近脱衣俱乐部半步 He wouldn't even go in the vicinity of a strip club.
那不叫喜欢 That's not sprung.
那叫精疲力尽 That's whipped.
我打扰到你了吗 Am I interrupting something?
没有 没有 No, um, no.
那你现在在干吗 So what are you doing right now?
呼吸新鲜空气啊 不记得了吗 Getting some fresh air, remember?
我来给你看样东西 I'm going to show you something.
豁出去了 Fucking hell.
棒呆了的户外 对吧 Fucking outdoors, right?
该死 Shit.
我们他妈这是在去哪儿 Where the fuck are we going?
跟着我 Follow me.
杰克 Jack?
戈尔 Gore?
杰克 你在干嘛 Jack, what are you doing?
见鬼 Shit.
杰克 Jack?
天 Oh, yeah.
他杀了她 He got her.
也许她在切什么东西的时候 Maybe she was chopping something
切到了她自己 and she cut herself.
你是嗑药了吗 Are you high?
不是特拉斯克 就是你的未婚夫 Either Trask or your husband-to-be
或者他们两个一起 或者别的人在到处杀人 or both or someone else is killing everyone.
但我们到现在都没发现一具尸体 But we haven't found a body.
这是甜菜汁 That's beet juice.
大家都不见了 Everyone is missing.
我们到找部固定电话 打给911 We need to find a landline and call 9-fucking-1-1.
除非你想对着一屋子棺材说誓词 Unless you want to deliver your vows to a room full of coffins.
要是你想跟911将那些诡异的自拍 那就请便吧 If you would like to explain creepy selfies to 9-1-1, be my guest.
我要去找达尔瓦罗 I'm going to go find Dalvero and
弄清楚整件事 I'm going to sort this whole thing out.
-我不想你死 -噢 你... - I don't want you to die! - Oh, you're
弄皱衣服了 wrinkling the dress.
562-555-1937：你是下一个
下一个就是你 You're next.
艾琳·冯 562-555-1937
艾琳：你才是下一个
你才是下一个 You're next.
嘿 宝宝 Hey, boo boo.
达尔瓦罗 Dalvero.
他妈的大家都在哪儿 Where the fuck is everybody?
霍莉@只卖不借.com：嘿 米娅 我一整天都在给你打电话 你的未婚夫从裁缝那儿拿错了衣服 但神奇的是
这衣服和你的尺码很接近 只要你坚持锻炼和节食计划 应该会很合身 致以我最诚挚的歉意
嘿 米娅 我一整天都在给你打电话 Hey, Mia. I've been trying to call you all day.
你的未婚夫从裁缝那儿拿错了衣服 Your fiancé picked up the wrong dress from the tailor.
但神奇的是 这衣服和你的尺码很接近 But amazingly, this dress is very close to your size
只要你坚持锻炼和节食计划 应该会很合身 and should just fit barring any deviation from your diet and exercise regime.
致以我最诚挚的歉意 My deepest apologies for the mishap.
娘的 Holly.
911 您有什么紧急情况 9-1-1, where's your emergency?
看看现在谁才是下一个 Now who's next?
你还活着 You're alive!
有趣 Funny.
好吧 Okay.
你假装死亡骗我们 You faked your own death to throw us off.
真是天才 Genius.
除了甜菜汁 Except beet juice?
废话少说 Cut the bull.
我儿子还活着吗 Is my son alive?
尽管诬陷我吧 Frame me all you want.
你才是那个明摆着消失几个小时 You're the one who disappeared for hours
给我们设陷阱的人 clearly to set traps for us.
你到底是不是不能吃麸质食物啊 Are you even gluten-free?
我有麸质过敏症 I have celiac disease.
你的同谋对我的儿子做了什么 What did accomplice do to my son?
你到底有没有孩子啊 Do you even have a child?
还是说你假想出了一个儿子 Or is it like you invented an imaginary son
去博得关注 现在你的愿望落空了 to get attention and now your fantasy is crumbling
你就得杀了每个人 and you have to kill off everyone by...
我说了吧 What'd I tell you, right?
哇哦 Wow.
你还有大麻吗 You got any more weed?
我有一些好东西 Oh, I got some good shit
让你吃了飘飘欲仙 仿佛置身天堂 like you died and went to heaven.
我很确定我不会喜欢天堂 I'm pretty sure I wouldn't like heaven.
-你在干嘛 -让自己更自在啊 - What are you doing? - I'm getting comfortable.
今晚挺热的 你觉得呢 It's a hot night, don't you think?
哇哦 跟我的行李打招呼那一套是不是经常管用啊 Wow. Does like say hello to my package normally work for you?
不是 No.
你应该更霸道一点 You should be like way more dominant.
好些了吗 Better?
一点吧 Kind of.
嘿 抱歉这么晚才告诉你 Hey, sorry for the super late notice,
但我们去不了婚礼了 but we can't make it to the wedding.
车子坏了 下周才能修好 The car broke down and it won't be fixed till next week. Sad face.
我已经向酒席承办商登记了人数 I already put in the headcount to the caterers.
你就不能租辆车吗 真是太无礼了 Can't you rent a car? That is so rude.
天 Gee.
对不起 Sorry.
你还好吗 Are you all right?
艾利克斯 Alexis?
姐妹 你得... 你在干... Girl, you got... what are you...
我的天 Oh my God.
我的天 Oh my God
赶紧来戏剧屋 Come to the playhouse ASAP.
天 Oh God.
呼叫911 天 Oh God.
呼叫911
搜寻服务中...
接啊 接啊 Come on, come on!
接啊 Come on, come on.
510-545-6780：把尸体藏起来 这样就无人知晓 否则会有更多人丧命
把尸体藏起来 这样就无人知晓 否则会有更多人丧命 Hide the body. No one can know or there'll be more.
该死 Shit.
什么鬼 What the fuck?
好消息 摄影师同意了 Great news. The videographer was approved.
昆娜@波西米亚新娘.com： 好消息 摄影师同意了 能不能麻烦你重发一遍营地地址给我 我好像找不到了 明天见
能不能麻烦你重发一遍营地地址给我 Can you just resend me the camp address?
昆娜@波西米亚新娘.com：好消息 摄影师同意了 能不能麻烦你重发一遍营地地址给我 我好像找不到了 明天见
我好像找不到了 Can't seem to find it.
-明天见 -什么 - See you tomorrow. - What?
额 好 Uh, do.
510-545-6780：立马把它藏起来
立马把它藏起来 Hide it now!
杰克 Jack!
特拉斯克 什么鬼兄弟 Trask, what the hell, man?
戈尔 Gore?
怎么回事 What's going on?
这是什么游戏吗 Is this some kind of game?
我知道米娅 I know Mia has been kind of intense
准备婚礼和男伴娘核对表什么的 搞得有点紧张 with the wedding prep and the man of honor checklist.
她都要把我整疯了 She BBC'd me.
她只是想把婚礼办好 But she really just wants this to be
让每个人开心 a wonderful experience for everyone.
听着 我知道你们俩认识很久了 Uh, look, I know you've known her half her life
而我只是她的男票之一 and I'm just some guy in a long line of guys.
我并不想知道她的情史 所以请别告诉我 I don't really want to know how long so please don't tell me.
但是 我会为她做任何事 But seriously I'd do anything for her.
我知道你也会 I know you would, too.
我是说 如果你是直的 娶她的可能就是你了 I mean, if you were straight, you would probably be marrying her.
所以 没错 我有点竞争感 So, yeah, I feel some competition there
但我也把你当做朋友 but I also think of you as a friend.
我希望你也能把我当朋友 I hope you think of me as one, too.
现在说可能早了点 但我们决定要孩子了 And maybe this is premature, but if we decide to have kids,
我们觉得你应该当孩子的教父 we're thinking you'd be the godfather.
戈尔 Gore?
我只是想确认下... I'm just like trying to be sure what...
-别说话了 别说话 -好吧 - No more talking. No more talking. - All right.
-你要干什么 -这个感觉... - What are going to do? - This is feeling much...
操 Fuck!
搞什么 What the fuck?
天啊 Jesus.
来自特拉斯克 发给米娅的营地婚礼 TraskMan posted to #MiaCampWedding.
-噢 -那是什么鬼 - Oh. - What the crap was that?
我读过一个歌剧演员被抢劫的故事 I read a story about an opera singer who got mugged
女歌手飚了个高音 犯人就逃跑了 and then she sang a crazy high note and then he ran away.
我们现在安全了 好吗 Well, we're all safe now, okay?
艾琳是幕后黑手 我已经把她锁在冰库里了 Eileen was behind everything but I locked her in the fridge.
等等 啥但是艾琳一直和我们在一起 Wait, what? But Eileen was with us the whole time.
是的 我知道 她肯定是提前布置好的 Yes, I know. She must've done it all before we got up
然后再发这些照片 and then posted the photos later.
我还找到了她的宝来丽相机 I even found her Polaroid camera.
我的天 Oh my God.
这就是你的婚纱吗 Is that your dress?
不是 No.
达尔瓦罗拿错了 Dalvero picked up the wrong one.
妈的 抱歉 Shit, sorry.
-这就是你让我尽快过来的原因 -没错 - Is that why you needed me here ASAP? - Yes.
抱歉 我现在得去看看杰弗逊 好吗 Sorry, but I need to check on Jefferson, okay?
你不介意我把达尔瓦罗的车开到布鲁克林吧 You don't mind if I take Dalvero's car to Brooklyn?
你确定他现在有紧急状况吗 Are you sure that he's in imminent danger?
几秒后... And then seconds later...
-哇偶 -对吧 - Whoa. - Right?
好了 你觉得这儿有杀手吗 Okay, do you think that there is also a killer here?
杀手 Killer?
有人死了吗 Is someone dead?
没 没有 No, no.
没有 只是这些自拍 No, just the selfies.
艾琳可能把他们藏起了 Eileen probably roofied them.
谁知道她有多大本事呢 Who knows what she's capable of.
她还把这些嫁祸给我 She was projecting her crimes on me.
真是变态加古怪 It's just all so sick and weird.
-我应该告诉她邮件的事的 -别责怪自己 - I should have told her about the email mix-up. - Don't blame yourself.
这个国家的人都他妈精神错乱 This country is a disaster when dealing with mental illness.
好吗 我要去找信号然后报警 Okay, I'm going to go find service and call 9-1-1.
你就待在这儿等警察来 好吗 You just stay here and wait for the police, okay?
恭喜 这是你最活跃的一天 Congratulations. You've had your most active day yet.
干得漂亮 Way to go.
嘿 你为什么躲开我 Hey, why'd you run from me?
我需要你帮我处理戈尔的事 I need your help with Gore.
我觉得他真的受伤了 I think he's really hurt.
在独木舟那儿等我 Meet me at the canoes.
一二三四五六七 One, two, three, four, five, six, seven,
八九十 eight, nine, ten.
妈的 Shit!
一二三四五六 One, two, three, four, five, six,
七八九十 seven, eight, nine, ten.
噢 好了 Oh! Okay.
嘿 帮我个大忙 你能不能在营地门口 Hey, big favor, can you meet Paulette
见一下波莱特 然后给她 by the camp entrance and give her
跳个大腿舞什么的 她需要他妈的冷静下来 that lap dance and more? She needs to chill the fuck out.
来真的 For real?
不许欺骗我的老婆 Not cheating on my wife.
我想你还没准备好加入我们 Guess you're not ready to be VP.
什么 What?
-我的天... -把尸体藏起来 Oh my... Hide the body.
不要让任何人知道 否则还会有更多人死 No one can know or there'll be more.
噢 Oh, um.
为什么 Why?
立马藏起来 Hide it now.
妈的 Shit.
噢 操 操 Oh fuck, oh fuck.
呃 抱歉 戈尔是在吓唬你 Uh, sorry, Gore thought he was supposed to scare you.
艾琳在餐厅 Eileen's in the cafeteria.
所以我吓吓她 可以吗 So I'll scare her, okay?
你当时就应该杀了我的 Should have cut me when you had the chance.
离开这地方 Leave this place.
你他妈要去哪儿 Where the fuck are you going?
请尽快发送那个地址 Please send that address ASAP.
大家需要早点到那儿 The crew needs to get up there early.
抱歉 在 马萨诸塞州 的"Hennecker-Keen" Sorry, it's one Pocumtuck Road,
"Pocumtuck" 01313 路Hennecker-Keen, Massachusetts, 01313.
等不及见到你了 Can't wait to finally meet you.
天啊 我的电视晚餐之梦 Oh my God, my TV dinner dream!
哇偶 你可以唱歌 Wow, you can sing.
这是你的婚纱吗 Is that your wedding dress?
呃 Uh.
弗林跟你说什么了 What did gluten-free tell you?
我被她陷害了 It's called being framed.
她在哪儿 Where is she?
把她儿子从你的同伙手里救出来 Saving her son from your accomplice.
我才没有什么能帮我杀小孩的朋友 I don't have any friends that would kill children for me.
你之前见过这位叫杰弗逊的吗 Have you ever even met this Jefferson?
见过 好几次 Yes, several times.
她可能是租的孩子 She could have rented a baby.
我的老天 米娅 Jesus, Mia.
人都快死了 你还在邀请博主 People are dying and you're still inviting bloggers?
没人要死 Nobody's dying.
噢 我的天 Oh, oh my God!
我的天 米娅 她还好吗 Jesus, Mia, is she okay?
-呃 -你检查她的脉搏了吗 - Uh... - Have you checked her pulse?
我不知道怎么做 Yeah, I don't know how to do that.
我们一起来做心肺复苏术 We took CPR together.
不要让任何人知道 不然还会死更多人 No one can know or there'll be more.
她死了 Well, she's not alive.
她是你的朋友 She's your friend and you're still trying
你还想举办这场婚礼吗 to make this wedding happen?
她没事的 She's fine.
她只是有一颗没有脉搏的 She just has one of those artificial hearts
假心脏 that has no pulse.
请在合适地点掉头 When possible, make a U-turn.
搞什么女士 我刚掉头过来 What the fuck, lady? I just made a fucking U-turn.
我的天 Jesus.
抱歉 Sorry.
是我 他妈的冷静点 This is me chilling the fuck out!
你把杰弗逊怎么样了 What did you do to Jefferson?
-杰弗逊 -我的儿子 - Jefferson? - My son.
-我以为他在布鲁克林 -别糊弄我 - I thought he was in Brooklyn. - Don't fuck with me.
-你拿枪干什么 -这不是我的 - What are you doing with a gun? - It's not mine.
哦 这是你那个该死的朋友的吗 Oh, does it belong to your Bloody Eight friend?
你们俩组队毁了米娅的婚礼 You two team up to ruin Mia's wedding
收集我儿子的干细胞 and harvest my son's stem cells?
并不 Nope.
你为什么会开着达尔瓦罗的车 What are you doing with Dalvero's car?
我借的 I'm borrowing it.
完美 Perfect.
让我们"借"这辆车回营地来捋捋这整件事 Let's borrow it back to camp and clear this whole thing up.
我很抱歉发错邮件的事 I'm really sorry about the email mix-up.
我应该说点什么的 我给错了... I should have said something. I just gave you the wrong...
游戏结束了 米娅 Game over, Mia.
邀请我来这儿不是件意外 Inviting me here was no accident.
你想要复仇 You wanted revenge.
复什么仇 Revenge for what?
"星探" "Star Search."
"星探"是20年前的事了 我早就翻篇了 "Star Search" was 20 years ago. I'm over it.
你是在说你一点都不难过 You're telling me you're not at all upset
那天早上我没来接你 that I didn't pick you up that morning
害你错过八九十年代 and you missed your audition for the
才艺比赛的试镜的事 talent competition of the late '80s, early '90s.
没错 你家房子被闪电击中了 Yeah, your house got hit by heat lightning
你的闹钟被重置了 and your alarm got reset.
而且你表示完全能接受我第二天过去面试的事 And you're totally fine that I went the next day and booked it.
那节目只有1.25星 We only got 1 1/4 stars.
还设法获得了迪士尼日本频道的合约 And still managed to land a Disney Channel Japan contract.
好吧 那并不是迪士尼频道的 Okay, but that wasn't really Disney Channel.
还有哈姆雷特 And Hamlet.
有哪个女人不像出演哈姆雷特呢 What woman wouldn't want to play Hamlet?
你连番外角色都没得到 You didn't even get Guildenstern.
你只得到福丁布拉妻子的角色 You were just Fortinbras' wife.
好了 或许我确实被这点惹毛了 Okay, maybe I was pissed off about that
或许我还不得不去搜索被闪电击中是什么意思 and maybe I had to Google what heat lightning was
或许在那一天 and maybe on that day
天气预报跟你说的故事不一样 the weather reports contradict your story.
因为我的故事是假的 Because my story is a lie.
哈 Huh?
你干不过他的 You'll never outrun him in that thing.
我逃不出去了 I can't get out of this.
不 No!
搞什么 What the fuck?
当大家被吓个半死的时候 When people are freezing to death,
他们就明白了 they figure shit out.
你误解了很多信息内容 And you're reading a lot into those texts.
是吗 Am I?
来自达尔瓦罗 发给米娅的营地婚礼 Dalvero posted to #MiaCampWedding.
住手 滚开 Stop! Get out.
噢 妈的 Oh, shit, shit.
滚... 噢 我的脚 Get... Oh, my foot!
等下 你妈吸毒过量 Wait, your mom OD'd?
迪士尼日本频道就是她的康复治疗 Disney Channel Japan was her rehab.
1.25星简直就是电视届里的瘟疫 我才没有订阅 1 1/4 stars is television leprosy. I didn't book shit.
哇偶 Wow.
我之前是有点恨你的 I kind of hated you actually.
我敢肯定温迪的广告没起什么作用 I'm sure the Wendy's commercial didn't help.
没 没用 No, no, it didn't.
我甚至没有尝试过 I didn't even try.
我在"Galleria"被人发现 I just got scouted at the Galleria.
自从在脸书上看到你之后 I've been trying to say I'm sorry
我一直尝试去说我很抱歉 since I found you on Facebook.
我以为发错邮件 I thought the bridesmaid email
是你接受我道歉的方式 was your way of accepting my apology.
我太烂了 I suck.
看 你才是成名的那个 And see, you're the one who became a star.
我得到了报应 I paid the karmic price.
事实上 我知道我在脸书上发的贴让我看起来像歌剧明星 Actually, I know that I seem like I'm this big opera star
但是我并不是 'cause I post on Facebook but I'm not.
经历了这个很严重的"声乐危机" Had this like really bad vocal crisis
现在我做的只是辅导教学 and now all I do is coachings.
辅导 Coachings?
就像你只做做老师 Like you just teach?
嗯 Yeah.
警察追踪了我们的电话 9-1-1 traced our calls.
我们得救了 We're saved!
妈的 没有路 Fuckin' no way.
-警官 停下 -什么鬼 - Officer, stop. - What the fuck?
逮捕她 她想杀了我的儿子 Arrest her. She's been trying to stop this wedding
来阻止这场婚礼 by killing my son.
她也有份 And she's in on it, too.
米娅 她伤到你了吗 你没事吧 Mia, do you just hurt you, are you all right?
波莱特参与了整个阴谋 Paulette's part of the conspiracy.
嘿 你们看到达尔瓦罗了吗 Hey, have you guys seen Dalvero?
-噢 我很抱歉 -啥 - Oh, I'm so sorry. - What?
警官 这女人把我锁在冰库 Officer, this woman locked me in the freezer
还拿刀威胁着我 at gluten-free knife point
还捏造了一个孩子来掩饰自己 and has invented a child to mask her own insecurities.
伙计们 不是我们中的人干的 You guys, it's not one of us.
我们看到了杀手 我把他打昏了 We saw the killer. I knocked him out.
你抱歉个什么 Why are you so sorry?
-我的老天 -你们三个离车远点 - Oh my fucking God. - Now you three stand back away from the vehicle.
-我的天 -米娅 他有把枪 Oh my God. Mia, he has a gun.
你他妈又是谁 And who the fuck are you?
你绝对不是警察 Because you are certainly not an officer of the law.
请离开警车 Please step away from the vehicle
交出你的武器 and hand over your weapon.
你有权保持...性感 You have the right to remain sexy.
哦 妈的 魔力迈克 Oh shit, Magical Michael?
抱歉 伙计们 我的错 Sorry, guys, my bad.
他应该一小时前到这儿的 He was supposed to be here hours ago.
这地方很难找 This place is hard to find.
抱歉米娅 我不知道你这么反感 I'm sorry, Mia, I didn't know you were so against
"开发"男人 the exploitation of men.
但是你不认为在千年来对妇女的剥削之后 But don't you think after a millennia
我们应该得到应有的回报吗 of the exploitation of women, we should get our turn?
这就这么回事吗 Is that what this is about,
反婚姻女权主义者的报复 an anti-marriage feminist reprisal?
-我或许该走了 -嘿 我已经在网上支付过费用了 - I should probably go. - Hey, I already paid for this online.
没错 但不包括这他妈的鬼状况 Yeah, not for whatever the fuck this is.
不 不 No, no.
我们需要第三方来解决这个问题 We need a third party to settle this.
还有你他妈的怎么把它关掉 And how the fuck do you turn that off?
只剩一点点了 Just a few more times.
马上就放完了 Go for the full routine.
警官趴下 干起来 Officer down to funk.
分散他们 Spread 'em.
不 谁都不许走 No, no one leaves.
我要去找我的儿子 I need to get to my son!
他根本不存在 Who doesn't exist!
她是杀手 She's the killer.
不 是特拉斯克 No, it's Trask.
-什么 -我看到他强奸波莱特 - What? - I saw him raping Paulette.
不 那是双方自愿的 No, that was consensual
而且没有实质性发生 and there wasn't really any penetration.
我知道他没有杀达尔瓦罗 I know he didn't kill Dalvero.
我不是有意 但是... I didn't mean to but...
他戴着面具袭击我们 He was attacking us with a mask.
她什么都没做 She didn't do it.
他妈的没门 No fucking way!
她没有... 不 She didn't... No.
我们有生命危险 Our lives are in danger.
我买了35分钟 I paid for 35 minutes.
我们能谈谈这个吗 Can we all just talk about this?
来自魔力麦克 发给米娅的营地婚礼 Magic4hire posted to #MiaCampWedding.
所有人跟我来 Everyone follow me.
检查他的身体 Inspect the body.
我赌你已经隐忍很久了 I bet you've been building up your tolerance for years
让自己看起来像个酗酒的废柴 等待时机... just to seem like an alki loser all the while just waiting...
照我说的做 Just do it.
有人看到枪伤的伤口了吗 Does anyone see a gunshot wound?
这就像他妈的肯尼迪遇刺案 This is some JFK shit.
肯尼迪的伤口是非常明显的 JFK's wound was pretty visible.
我只是朝天空开枪示威 I fired a warning shot into the air.
这太奇怪了 This is weird.
或许达尔瓦罗也是这种情况 Maybe the same thing happened to Dalvero.
我没踢他那么狠 I didn't kick him that hard.
这些自拍是意味着已经死亡吗 Do the selfies mean you're dead?
我应该发信息给他的 I should have texted him.
真可爱 大家都受了看不见的伤死了 Adorable but people are dying without visible injuries.
艾利克斯身上也没有伤 Alexis didn't have any either.
你找到艾利克斯了 You found Alexis?
我收到一条510号码的短信说 I got a text from a 510 number and it said,
“不要告诉任何人 把尸体藏起来 不然还会有更多人死” "Don't tell anyone and hide the body or there'll be more."
等下 你从没给过我你的号码 通讯录上也没有 Wait, you never gave me your phone number
而且达尔瓦罗有一个布鲁克林的510的号码 for the contact sheet and Dalvero has a 510 number
你可能也有 from Berkeley and you probably do, too.
特拉斯克死在我身上后我也收到了同样的短信 I got the same exact text after Trask croaked
不过是617的号码 on top of me except from a 617 number.
米娅 你不是波士顿人吗 Aren't you originally from Boston, Mia?
不 艾琳发消息给我 "你是下一个" No, Eileen texted me, "You're next,"
而且她有宝来丽相机 and she's the one with the Polaroid camera.
我没有你的号码 I don't have your number.
我们都有通讯录 We all got the contact sheet.
我可没那么缜密 I'm not that organized.
肯定有人黑了我们的号码 Someone must've hacked our numbers.
你现在在科技公司工作 You work in tech now.
你上网查我了 You Googled me?
我看到你的领英请求了 Caught your Linkedln request.
我在社交媒体公司工作 I work in social media.
曾经是 Well, did.
但我被炒了 I got fired.
我的天 操 Jesus, fuck!
噢 噢 噢 Oh, oh, oh.
噢 妈的 Oh shit.
我发誓他刚刚没有脉搏了 I swear he didn't have a pulse.
我不觉得他还活着 I don't think he's alive.
这是超自然现象 This is supernatural.
噢 这解释了一切 Oh, that explains everything.
超自然现象总是能解释一切 The paranormal always explains everything.
他可能只是昏过去 醒过来 然后… He probably just got knocked out, came to, and...
就像纽约客上的那篇文章一样吗 Is really engrossed in a "New Yorker" article?
米娅 我对营地做了背景调查 Mia, I did a background search on the camp
所有的许可证都过期了 and all of the permits were expired.
-是你订的还是我们擅自闯入 -我才没那么小气 - Did you book it or are we just trespassing? - I am not that cheap.
如果真的过期了 And if they are out of date,
我会让米里亚姆给我打折的 I'm going to ask Miriam for a discount.
米里亚姆是谁 Who's Miriam?
营地的爱彼迎联系人 The Airbnb contact for the camp.
那个被闪电击中淹死的女孩叫什么名字 And the name of the girl who was struck by lightning and drowned?
-真方便 -你认为她有能力策划这一切 - Convenient. - You think that she's capable of being behind all of this?
妈的 那是她的姓 Shit, that's her last name
她的头像是营地的标志 and her profile picture was the camp sign.
我见过这个随身听 I've seen that Walkman.
她的灵魂可能已经进入他的手机 Her spirit is probably entrancing through his phone
把他变成奴隶 and made him a slave.
如果你把它拿走 可能可以切断连接 Maybe if you take it away, it'll sever the tie.
因为你之前见过这种状况吗 Because you've seen this kind of thing before?
没有 但我管理过超自然现象的网站 Well, no, but I manage paranormally.com's web presence
好吧 见过 and, well, did.
你要去这么做吗 Are you going to do it?
呃 他看上去很强壮 Uh, he looks pretty strong.
我才不要去做这个 反正这个不行 Yeah, I'm not going to try it, not in this.
要我说我们都上达尔瓦罗的车 I say we all just pile in Dalvero's car
然后离开这个鬼地方 and get the fuck out of here.
但如果这招对他有效的话 But if this works on him,
或许我们还可以救下其他人 maybe we could save everyone else.
好吧 Okay.
好吧 上吧 Okay, go for it.
噢噢 Oh oh.
来自杰克1138 发给米娅的营地婚礼 Jack1138 posted to #MiaCampWedding.
达尔瓦罗的车现在听上去很不错 Dalvero's car sounds pretty good about now.
米娅的营地婚礼 #MiaCampWedding.
噢 Oh ho!
跟我来 Follow me!
我们不应该扔掉手机 以防变成丧尸吗 Shouldn't we throw our phones away so we don't get zombied?
如果抢手机是偷 If grabbing one's phone is stealing,
那扔手机就算乱丢垃圾了 maybe tossing our phones is littering.
那我们扔哪儿 We should leave where?
去他的 那贱人用爱彼迎把我们拐过来 Fuck that! That bitch lured us here by the Airbnb
显然她还有一些未尽的事 because she obviously has some unfinished business
很明显她想我们帮她解决 that she'd clearly like us to help her resolve.
那她为什么要杀了所有人 Then why is she killing everyone?
你觉得那些死人能帮她吗 Dead weight, you think they could've helped her?
妈的 Shit.
弗林在哪儿 Where's Flynn?
她可以敲门的 She can knock.
我们不能就这么把她扔在那儿 We can't just leave her out there.
她在那儿比待在这儿安全 She's safer than in here.
你在做什么 What are you trying to do,
把我们困在这个小的要命的房子里 trap us in the smallest room on the planet?
我的天 我的天 Oh my God, oh my God.
这就是我们来这儿的原因 That's why we're in here.
你有钥匙吗 Do you have the key?
卧槽 Fuck me.
你在哪儿 Where are you?
我们被困住了 We're trapped.
现在走 米娅就死定了 Leave now and Mia's toast.
你是下一个 You're next!
如果我们能找到钥匙就太幸运了 Would be amazingly lucky if we just found the key.
我的天 Oh my God.
怎么 What?
"你敢偷尤兰达的卷心菜娃娃挂 "Dare you to steal Yolanda's Cabbage Patch Kid
再把它挂起来吗" and hang it."
这个营地的孩子真残忍 Kids at this camp were brutal.
你觉得在这里面 You think it's inside.
捂住你们的耳朵 Cover your ears.
-我的天 -搞什么 - Oh God. - What the fuck?
继续沿州级公路行驶 Continue toward state route,
掉头 掉头 都则你就是下一个 make a U-turn, make a U-turn or you're next,
-你是下一个 你是下一个 -把这鬼东西关上 - you're next, you're next. - Shut the fuck up.
闭嘴 Shut up.
已经警告过你很多次了 You were warned a lot.
-什么鬼 -噢 - What the fuck? - Uh!
嗷呜 Ow.
来自"无麸女" 发给米娅的营地婚礼 GFreeAtLast posted to #MiaCampWedding.
我要发邮件告诉所有人 I'm going to write the email to tell everybody
离我的婚礼远点 to stay away from my wedding.
不 我们可以查个水落石出 No, we can get to the bottom of this
为每个人驱邪 and exorcize everyone.
你还是可以拥有超棒的婚礼 You could still have the best wedding ever.
啥不可能他妈把所有人吓走 What? No! Fucking scare everyone away
因为告诉他们发生了火灾啥的 换做我 and like tell them it was a fire or something because I am here
我可不会相信这种鬼事 and I can barely believe this shit.
所以你打算就这么放弃 So you're just going to give up and listen
来听"溺水女孩"的混音带 to drowned girl's mix tape?
没有人会把混音带标上"营地记录1号" Nobody labels a mix tape Camp Record Number One.
里面肯定有东西 It's got to be something.
但是我们需要警告其他人 But we need to warn people
以防没有什么超棒的婚礼 好吗 in case it's not the best wedding ever, okay?
有人看到耳机了吗 Anyone see the headphones?
我有更好的主意 Better idea.
这样我们都能听 So we can all hear.
我们需要找到一个更有防御能力的位置 We're going to need to find a more defensible position.
我们得去玩具房 We need to go to the playhouse.
准备好逃跑 Be prepared to run.
我的天 找隐蔽 Oh my God. Take shelter.
-妈的 -快低头滚过来 - Shit! - Just drop and roll!
穿着这身婚纱是不可能的 That is not happening in this dress.
脱掉 Rip it off.
不行 太紧了 I can't, it's too tight.
噢 Oh.
-妈的 快 -天 走走 - Shit, come on! - Gee, oh, go, go!
见鬼 宅女有大招呢 Damn, home girl's got some mad skills.
达尔瓦罗说在中情局训练过 Well, Dalvero said she trained with the CIA
但是有几项考试不达标 but she failed some test.
那封邮件是怎么来的 How's that email coming?
妈的 是艾利克斯 Shit, it's Alexis.
我们可以给她安排座位 We could barricade her with seating.
好主意 Good plan.
戈尔在我们布置的时候发现的 Gore found this while we were setting up.
那对我来说是个危险信号 Yeah, that would've been a red flag for me.
我的天 Oh my gosh.
看看板子上的是谁 Look who's on top of the board.
上一个营地负责人是这个心理学研究生 The last camp director was this psych grad student
根据网上的骇人传闻 who, according to this very creepy website,
这人让孩子们互相竞争 pitted the kids against each other
通过一些像是纪律游戏 through some like disciplinary game.
我们得把她从他的鬼魂手里救出来 We've got to save her from his ghost.
你违反了规则 砰 你就上了公告板 You break a rule and, bam, you're on the board.
但是我们都破坏了营地规则 Mmm, but we all broke camp rules.
我就是 吸毒 做爱 算是吧 I did. I drank, did drugs, I had sex, well kind of.
嗯 这个营地负责人没死 Yeah, and the camp director's not dead.
去他的 Well, fuck.
我们放录音带吧 Let's play the tape.
对了 Oh yeah.
要想过无罪的生活 循规蹈矩是不够的的 To live a life free of sin,it is not enough to follow the rules.
那些解决生活难题的道德准则和正确答案就在你心中 The moral and just answers to life's difficult questions
而你总会想方设法忽视它们 扭曲它们 去满足一己私欲 lie within you and you found ways to ignore and twist them,
但在内心深处 to serve your selfish desires but deep down,
你知道什么才是正确的 you know what is correct.
雅各书第四章第十七节 人若知道行善却不去行 这就是他的罪了 "JAMES 4:17," If you do not do what you know is right,
你就是有罪的 现在 不好意思 那是磁带录音机吗 you have sinned." Now, excuse me, is that a tape recorder?
"McFuffer"主管 我父母说我可以带着个 Director McFuffer, my parents said I had an exception.
我把每件事都记录下来 以便之后能学习完善 I record everything so I can study it later and get it perfect.
在波坎塔克营地没有例外 There are no exemptions at Camp Pocumtuck.
电子设备是不允许携带的 Electronic devices will not be tolerated.
你父母提醒过我你爱撒谎 Your parents warned me about your lies.
你的私欲已经扭曲了你的道德观 Your selfish desire has twisted your moral truth.
这让你成为在罪板上第一个 That's makes you our first addition to the Board of Sin.
如果你不去做明知是正确的事 If you do not do what you know is right,
你的照片就会上板 你叫什么名字 your picture goes up here. What's your name?
但是我没有撒谎 他们跟我说... But I'm not lying. They told me that...
你叫什么名字 What's your name?
米里亚姆·克林格斯 先生 Miriam Kleingeist, sir.
站上来 米里亚姆 Step up here, Miriam.
从罪板上除名的唯一办法 The only way to get off the Board of Sin
就是揭发罪行 is to report a sin.
这是什么该死的纳粹行径 What the Nazi Germany fuck?
-你有什么要揭发的罪行吗 米里亚姆 -没有 先生 - Do you have a sin to report, Miriam? - No, sir.
他怎么能指望警察报告别人的罪行 How does he expect to police the reporting of other's sins
尤其是当举报虚假罪行的动机如此之高的时候 especially when the incentive is so high to report a false sin?
为了除名举报虚假的罪行 Reports of false sin just to get off the Board of Sin,
是最大的罪行 is the gravest sin of all
如果你们做了这种事神会告知我 and God will tell me if you do something so heinous.
别哭了 停下 Stop it, stop it, stop it!
米里亚姆 我要没收它 Miriam, I'll need to be confiscating that.
所以所有被丧尸化的人都是没有做 So everybody who was zombied just didn't do
他们明知是正确的事 what they knew was right?
没错 Yep.
出轨 好吧 当然 Cheating, okay sure.
但是缺乏荣誉感 不专业 But man of honor fail, unprofessional.
我也不知道 那个脱衣舞男 他本可以救我们的 I don't know, that stripper, man, he could have saved us
但是他决定保住自己的小命 but he decided to save his own ass instead.
戈尔忘记了葡萄柚 And also Gore forgot the grapefruits.
我严重怀疑是葡萄柚的原因 I highly doubt it was the grapefruits.
他可能和特拉斯克一样收到了最后通牒 He probably got an ultimatum text just like Trask
他得知道背叛妻子 and even he had to know that
染上病毒是 cheating on his wife to get VP is just,
操蛋的事情 you know, fucked up.
他妈的 等等 Wait a flippin' second.
让孩子们对立起来的 It wasn't the camp director that
并不是营地负责人 pitted the kids against each other.
而是这个"溺水女孩" It was the drowned girl.
她需要举报罪行来从罪板上除名 She needed a sin to report to get off the board.
但是她举报了六个人但她还在板子上 But she reported like six sins and she's still on the board.
因为要除名必须得到纳粹负责人的同意 Because the religion Nazi camp director has to approve it.
我们需要给她的灵魂开一个通道 We need to open up a channel to her spirit
然后打给营地负责人... and then call the camp director...
但是根据网上的内容 营地负责人在监狱里 But the camp director is in prison according to the website.
这个 只要她信了就行 Well, all that matters is that she believes it.
我们中的一个可以假扮营地负责人 One of us can pretend we're the camp director
让她知道她被除名了 and let her know she's off the hook.
或者我们可以假装上帝 Or we could pretend to be God
告诉她下地狱去吧 and tell her to go to hell.
打开通道有多难 How hard is it to open a channel?
WikiHow 别让我失望 WikiHow, don't fail me now.
盐环 银护身符 Circle of salts, silver amulets,
祝福祈祷披巾 巨蛇 blessed prayer shawls, serpents?
我们去哪儿弄这些东西 Where are we going to source all this stuff?
我们可以即兴发挥 We can improvise.
在精神领域 思想才是最重要的 In the spirit realm, it's the thought that counts.
这是真的 还是只是你写的推特 Is that real or a Tweet you wrote?
注意了 Attention, there is
婚礼场地附近有危险的有毒气体泄漏 a dangerous, toxic gas leak near the wedding venue
我们必须推迟举行 and we must postpone.
为了你们的安全 请远离营地 Please, for your safety, stay away from the camp.
我们都已经被疏散 We have all been evacuated.
抱歉在最后一分钟叫停 I am so sorry for this last-minute cancellation.
爱你的米娅和达尔瓦罗 米娅的营地婚礼 Love, Mia and Dalvero, #MiaCampWedding.
我的天 "无麸女"差点用斧头劈了我 Oh God, gluten-free almost tomahawked me.
你找到祈祷披肩了吗 Did you find any prayer shawls?
他们没有"屋顶上的小提琴手" They didn't do "Fiddler on the Roof".
没事 我有后备计划 It's okay, I got backup.
首先 我要把整个地方弄脏 First, I need to smudge the whole place.
你们可以搭个祭坛 You guys can set up the altar.
我以为是我来搞污染 I thought I was smudging.
谁他妈的需要冷静下来 Who needs to chill the fuck out?
这个能算吗 Does that count?
这是草药 It's herbal.
盐在哪儿 Where's the salt?
用那个“血腥8” Use the Bloody Eight.
它富含钠 It's loaded with sodium.
谁有巨蛇 Who has a serpent?
它们是生育的象征 所以... Uh, they're fertility symbols, so...
用产前维生素 Use the prenatal vitamins.
我们得把门堵起来 We need to barricade the door.
穿上这些 把它们当做神圣的服饰 Put these on and really treat them like sacred garments.
现在在神像周围围成一个新月形 Now form a crescent around the idol.
噢 Oh.
向圣灵献上圣物 Present the sacred object of the spirit to the idol.
现在我们手拉手唱一些有意义的东西 Now we hold hands and chant something of meaning.
那他妈又是什么 And what the fuck would that be?
妈的 看 Shit, look.
旋律是什么 What's the tune?
不知道 我即兴发挥 跟着我唱 I don't know, I'll improvise. Just follow me.
你去过露营吗 Did you go to camp?
或许可以民族风一点 Maybe folk it up a bit.
拜托 我们得一起来 不然行不通的 Come on, we have to do this together or it won't work.
正是 我要怎么相信这东西是神圣的 Exactly. And how am I supposed to believe that this is sacred?
你需要相信什么 What do you need to believe?
别碰了 Don't even touch it.
这不是什么坏主意 It's not a bad idea.
你可以把它缝回去 You can sew it back together.
好像不合身 It's not like it fits.
你跟达尔瓦罗上床了 You slept with Dalvero.
我的天 我们要这时候说这个吗 Oh my God, we're going to do this now?
那时候我们还在一起 While we were together.
他告诉我的 He told me.
是吗 Did he?
你有没有有想过那是他编的 Did you ever think he made that up
来保住自己的面子 因为你告诉他 to save face because you told him
你和一个男的在阵亡将士纪念日周末睡了 that you hooked up with some guy on Memorial Day weekend?
我们从没做爱过 We never had sex.
我告诉他你是那种 I told him that you were the type of person
会偷看他邮件的人 他不相信我 to snoop through his emails and he didn't believe me.
于是他就慢慢地从我的生命中消失了 So then he did the slow fade from my life
所以我想他忘记婚礼不邀请我了 and I guess forgot to uninvite me to the wedding
因为我曾是他最好的朋友 because I'm his, was his best friend.
我想我没有增进你们的友谊 I guess I didn't encourage the friendship.
你想吗 You think?
我们来做吧 混蛋们 Let's do this shit, motherfuckers.
-嗯 -我能试试这首歌吗 - Yeah. - May I try the song?
好 Yes.
-我们进去了 -谁来应付这个淘气鬼 - We're in. - Who's gonna do the douche boy?
-米里亚姆 -嗯 - Miriam? - Yeah?
你有要揭发的罪行吗 Do you have a sin to report?
你在假装是Mudfusher负责人吗 Are you pretending to be Director Mudfusher?
他是个混蛋 He's a butthole.
我揭发了大量的罪行 但都不管用 I reported tons of sins and it's not working.
你们得帮助我找到我的父母 You have to help me get to my parents.
米里亚姆 我知道你很难理解 Miriam, I know this is going to be really hard
但是你被闪电击中了 for you to understand but you got struck by lightning
-你没有幸存下来 -不 兄弟 - and you didn't survive. - No, duh.
叫你的奴才们退下 Tell your minions to stand down.
我不懂怎么操纵人类 I don't know how to possess people.
那是朝圣者女巫们做的 That's the pilgrim witch girls.
他们想要更多朋友来玩他们无聊的游戏 They want more friends to play their really, boring games with.
没有其他阴间的人 There are no one else from the astral plane
可以跟他们玩了吗 that these pilgrim girls can play with?
没有人在印度大屠杀中丧生 No one who died on the site of an Indian massacre
他们被困住了 and are trapped in a liminal vortex.
你们得帮我从这罪板上除名 You have to help me get off the board
否则你们的朋友们就死定了 or your friends are goners.
他妈的够了 Oh, no fucking duh.
我们把她从板子上扯下来 We just have to get her Polaroid off the board.
这是作弊 That's cheating.
你不能开枪 他们还算活着 You can't shoot them, they're kind of alive.
就算他们要杀了我们 Even if they're going to kill us?
嘿 伙计们 捕蝶网 You guys, butterfly nets.
-嗯 换我可不会这么做 -他妈的 为什么不 - Mmm, I wouldn't do that. -Why the fuck not?
如果你们离开了 If you leave,
他们可能会让你们的朋友自杀 they'll probably just have your friends kill themselves.
他们留着你们朋友的唯一原因就是让他们来抓你们 They only need them alive to hunt the rest of you down.
-你不能阻止他们 -被困在这东西里不行 - And you can't stop them? - Not trapped in this thing.
但是他们需要我通过你们的手机来跟你们联络 But they need me to connect with you guys through your telephones.
-他们一点都不懂科技 -我们要怎么办 - They don't get technology at all. - What are we going to do?
-手机在水里无法工作 -不 -好主意 - Phones won't work in the water. -No. - Good idea.
不不不 我不喜欢这片湖 停下 我很害怕 No, no, no. I don't like the lake. Stop, I'm scared!
他们很坏的 我只是写了纸条 They were so mean. I just wrote the notes.
我没让他们做任何事 我从没遇到过麻烦 I didn't make 'em do anything. I'd never been in trouble before.
你有没有想过 是你的父母 Did it ever occur to you that maybe your parents
没有告诉他们豁免权的事 just didn't tell them about the exemption?
带我回营地 不然我现在就报告你的罪行 Take me back to camp or I'll report your sin right now.
什么罪行 What sin?
撒谎 你确实和达尔瓦罗睡过 Lying. You did sleep with Dalvero.
你有证据吗 Do you have proof?
2008年 11月15日 November 15th, 2008.
它在你的微软Word日志里 你还写了 It's in your MS Word journal and you wrote
-很多关于它的诗 -哇偶 - a lot of poetry about it. - Wow.
我刚开始对你有好感 I was just starting to warm up to you.
我当时还在读大学 还是处女 It was undergrad and I was a virgin
我没告诉他这事 然后他中途吓坏了 and I didn't tell him and he freaked out midway through
所以把它定义为性爱有点扩展了 好吗 so defining it as full-stop sex is like a stretch, okay?
当时很尴尬 后来我们成了朋友 It was awkward and then we became friends
我很难交到或是留住朋友 and I have a hard time making and keeping friends
这场婚礼就像是死亡丧钟 so this wedding felt like the death nail.
所以尽管控告我不完全诚实 So sue me for not being totally honest.
你也撒谎了 You lied, too.
谁 Who?
你们俩都是 Both of you.
-不 -如果我们死了就帮不了你了 No! We can't help you if we're dead.
噢 Oh!
我们可以游泳 We could swim.
噢 这就是你为什么没能成间谍 Oh, that's why you failed Quantico.
我有恐水症 It's a phobia.
米里亚姆 我要报告一起罪行 Miriam, I have a sin to report.
你不必欺骗任何人 You don't have to trick anyone.
或许这样能让你除名 Maybe that'll get you off the board.
什么 What?
米娅 我知道邮件是发错了 Mia, I knew the email was a mistake
-但是我想修补我们的友谊 -呃... but I wanted to force a fren-a-ssance. -Um...
利用你的歌剧名气让我的事业重回正轨 And exploit your opera fame to get my career back on track.
但是我认为我们现在能彼此联系 But I really think we connected and
不仅是因为你在做教师 not because you're just teaching.
我知道应该问你有没有弄错邮件 But I knew the right thing to do was to ask you
但是我没这么做 if it was a mistake and I didn't.
罪人 Sinner.
见鬼 没起作用 Fuck, it didn't work.
或许你们都得这么做 Maybe you all have to do it?
呃 我并没有发不来婚礼的邮件 Uh, I didn't send the stay away from the wedding email.
讲真吗 你想让你的亲人 Seriously? Do you just want your friends and
朋友们都卷入到这里来 family to show up to this shit storm
以防你能大显神通 我的天 in case we pull off an eight-way exorcism. Oh my God.
这不仅仅是我的婚礼 好吗 So this isn't just my wedding, okay?
这是新娘波西米亚婚礼策划职位的试镜 It's an audition for a wedding-planning position at Bride Boheme.
我的歌剧事业结束了 好吧 它甚至从没开始过 My opera career is over. Okay, fine, it never even started.
我在社交媒体上撒谎了 但是... I just started lying about it on social media but...
我的为我的人生做点什么 I have to do something with my life.
我不能只做某人的妻子 I can't just be somebody's wife.
哇偶 Wow.
把这该死的邮件发出去 Send the fucking email!
我们还能做什么 What more do we have to do?
我 我不能死 I, I cannot die!
哦 该死 整个仪式 Oh, duh, full ceremony.
啥 What?
不不不 No, no, no.
茄子 Say cheese.
我们还是可以游泳的 We could still swim.
米里亚姆洗清了波莱特的罪恶 但不是你的 Miriam forced Paulette's sin out of her, but not yours.
不不不 操 No, no, no! Fuck.
对不起 在新娘波西米亚的那份工作 全是我的错 Um, sorry, that job at Bride Boheme, that's all me.
-但是你没有弄错邮件 -我 没错 - But you didn't cause our email mix-up. - I, yeah.
那也是我做的 That was me, too.
我十岁的时候 When I was ten years old,
我从卖酒的店里偷了一杯巧克力牛奶 I stole a chocolate milk from the liquor store.
我放火烧了一只猫 还嫁祸给邻居家的男孩 And I set a cat on fire and I blamed it on neighbor boy
害他去了少管所 我知道这是错的 and he went to juvie and I knew it was wrong.
不 No!
必须得是在营地犯的罪 You have to sin at the camp.
难道我要举报我自己吗 Am I supposed to report myself?
呀 Ugh.
或许我撒谎了 Maybe I lied
关于电子设备豁免权的事 about the electronics exemption.
他没能上 很抱歉 He didn't make it, so sorry.
也许我们可以申请"卡罗尔花园"幼儿园 Maybe we can apply to that preschool in Carol Gardens?
你被炒了 开玩笑的 你需要一个假期 You're fired. Kidding. You need a vacation.
我有一个完美的新账户给你 StarSearchFlops.com I've got a perfect new account for you, StarSearchFlops.com.
妈的 这本来是给德克斯的 我们打算给你个惊喜来着 Shit! That was meant for Dax. We were going to surprise you
把调酒室改成婴儿房 turning the brew room into a nursery
然后他拿到了洋基队比赛的门票 and then he got tickets to the Yankees' game
但绝对下周末再去 but totally doing it next weekend.
毒气我希望你没事 Toxic gas? I hope you're all okay.
-别担心 -我们开着租赁的车离得远远的 - No worries. -We're staying away in our rental car.
-你试过防毒面罩了吗 -幸灾乐祸地笑 - Did you try Gas-X? - Smirk.
大家都还活着吗 Is everyone alive?
好了 米娅 我是说她很好 Okay, Mia, I mean, she's totally great.
我同意 I approve.
我们能做回朋友吗 Can we just be friends again?
杰弗逊还活着 Jefferson's alive.
噢 Oh!
-艾利克斯 你怀孕了吗 -我不想抢你的风头 - Alexis, are you pregnant? - I didn't want to upstage you.
少来 这太棒了 Stop, that's amazing!
-宝贝 -宝贝 - Boo? - Boo.
我的天 我的裙子 Oh my God, my dress.
25分钟 成交 25 minutes? Deal?
为什么是白天 Why is it daytime?
嘿 Hey.
好了 玩手机时间结束 Okay, phone time over.
-我们来办婚礼吧 -但是没人会来 - Let's make this wedding happen. - But nobody's coming.
如果你们俩真的爱彼此 这重要吗 If you actually love each other, does it matter?
你还有个很充足的理由 And you have a pretty strong case
来商讨你的这次旅行费用 to contest your Airbnb fees.
你可以用这些钱在城里开个派对 You can use the money to throw a party
来应付这些应有的环节 in the city for the obligatories.
我也许能给你换件漂亮的婚纱 And I can probably Molly Ringwald this into something.
Bride Boheme如何 What about Bride Boheme?
噢 可以的 Oh, it's okay.
波莱特其实是对的 Paulette is actually right.
我们要举行婚礼 If we're going to have a wedding,
是因为我们爱着此 we should do it because we love each other
而且我们还有这些好朋友们 and we have really great friends.
-我的天 -怎么了 - Oh my God! - What?
你接受了我的好友请求 You accepted my friend request.
再来5分钟 Five more minutes.
再来5分钟 再来5分钟 Five more minutes, five more minutes.